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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27171490">Pandemonium Cake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid'>Quinnoid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kitchen Crimes [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gets a lil bit spicy I think, Kissing, Modern AU, Other, They care about each other so much y'all, ask to tag, bc tags are hard and I'm tired, just all the fluff folks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:35:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27171490</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zolf totally doesn't commit a food crime for Cel's birthday :) (It turns out very well because they both deserve it)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom/Zolf Smith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kitchen Crimes [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pandemonium Cake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>@coffeecrowns, thank you! This was fun. I'd like to clarify that I did not try this, and can only imagine how wonky it would have turned out. Ah the things Zolf does for love. Technically, this is a continuation of Food Crimes ch7, but it isn't quite as crimey as I was hoping it'd turn out.</p><p>Pandemonium Cake: a neapolitan-ish cake inspired by Cel's canon (?) favorite food.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zolf is ready. He’s spent the last few weeks collecting recipes, planning, buying ingredients, double checking his maths, and convincing Wilde to give him the day off. Whenever Cel is busy grading papers and tests, he has worked on constructing the triangular pieces of aluminum foil and parchment paper he needs to fit into his largest cake tin. And finally, the night before their birthday, he convinced Carter to give him two jars of Cel’s favorite cranberry moonshine. Everything is set. He’s going to make their birthday special. He’s going to make them feel special. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The anticipation of the day wakes Zolf up early, and he slips out of Cel’s grasp without waking them. Quietly, he starts making a pot of coffee while scrolling through the news. It’s nearly done brewing when cold hands suddenly circle around him and an icy nose brushes against his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning.” He mumbles. “Jeez, you’re cold.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“G’morning, Z,” They whisper and kiss his neck before resting their chin on top of his head. When the coffee finishes, he pours two mugs. Cel lets go of him long enough to take theirs, and he takes advantage of the opportunity to turn and face them. He smiles as they take a long sip, sigh, and set the mug aside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday, Cel.” Zolf puts his own coffee down as well when they lean forward and pull him into a gentle kiss that quickly turns into insistent tongue and teeth. Cel leans into it, pushing him back into the counter and holding him there by his hips. It’s a bit uncomfortable, and he squirms but doesn’t try to push back, just settles his hands on their back. A particularly sharp bite on his lower lip has him gasping and pulling away to catch his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Cel says, a little breathless as well, and smiles. Their eyes are bright and happy and mischievous. It’s been a while since he’s seen them so playful. He’s missed this side of them, buried under paperwork and frustration and late nights at the campus. For some reason, this year has just been so hard on them both, and Cel needs the reprieve. Zolf smiles back and leans up on his toes to kiss them again, cupping their face in his hands and grinning when their fingers dig into his hips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, they’re grumpily finishing their third cup of coffee and pulling on their favorite patchwork coat. “You know, I could just email everyone and say class is cancelled. I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to work today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cel-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know.” They whine. “Honestly, why did I leave research? I loved research! Make my own hours, my own schedule, blow up my own stuff. I mean, I love teaching, but creating new compounds is </span>
  <em>
    <span>way</span>
  </em>
  <span> more fun.” Cel continues to grumble indistinctly as they wash their cup. Zolf leans over and takes it from them, nudging them out of the way and washing it himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your birthday means you don’t do dishes. And you can always go back to research if that’s what you really want.” He sets the mug down and dries his hands. “I’ll support you no matter what.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel kisses the top of his head and sighs. “Thanks Z. I’ll try to be home early.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good. I’m making dinner about seven.” He hugs them before they go to leave. “Have a good day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will. Thank you Zolf.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Zolf’s certain they’re gone and not coming back, he starts pulling out all of his ingredients. The Pandemonium Cake, a name he stole from Cel’s favorite sushi dish, is supposed to be a one layer cake made of eight different flavors: vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, red velvet, carrot, coffee, peanut butter, and mint chocolate. Since he’s never actually made it before, he’s not quite sure it’ll turn out perfectly, but it should be rather simple once all the different batters are made. Hopefully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After shooting one last “have a good day” text to Cel, he preheats the oven, turns on some music, and gets to work mixing together the different batters. It takes over an hour. When they’re all finished, he preps his cake tin, greasing it and inserting the semi-triangular scaffolding. He pours half of each different batter into their own triangles, taking care to make sure each is roughly equal. Then, after checking his notes, he pours the other half of each batter on top of a different batter. Coffee on vanilla and vice versa, strawberry on carrot, red velvet on mint chocolate, and peanut butter on chocolate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the finishing touch, Zolf carefully removes the triangles and stirs the batter with a straw into a tight spiral. Hopefully, this will mix the batter together into a multicolored swirl that will look amazing. He’s pretty certain it’s going to work. If he’s right, they’ll have a very fun dessert, and if he’s wrong, well, knowing Cel they’ll probably still love it, considering they tried and liked that raw peppermint mocha creamer cake a few years back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a shake of his head, Zolf moves the cake into the oven, sets the timer, and leaves it. It needs about forty five minutes, at the very least, and it’s already getting close to lunchtime. Satisfied with whatever will come of the cake, he goes to clean up and finish preparing for the evening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~***~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel’s day has gone better than expected, but it’s still been a long one. The other chemistry staff wished them happy birthday and their classes mostly went well, but one of the labs managed to set fire to their supposedly inflammable workbench </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and one of their TA’s forgot to grade tests, so they have to grade at home. The highlight of their day was reading Zolf’s little texts, though. He’s up to something, Cel’s certain of it judging by the before and after pictures of the kitchen, but they’re too tired to really worry about it. It’s a short drive home thankfully, and they even manage to get back by seven. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel opens the door to a cacophony of smells and Zolf singing along to some folk shanty band he likes. They take a deep breath and sigh happily. Zolf pokes his head out of the kitchen and grins at them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cel! You’re back! Oh shit, shit, shit.” He disappears back into the kitchen, and Cel hears something boil over as he curses angrily. They chuckle and slip out of their coat before walking into the kitchen. In the center of the table, there’s a covered cake and a vase of their favorite flowers. It’s already set with two plates, silverware, and two of Carter’s iconic mason jars of a rich purple alcohol, and he even has a few candles burning a safe distance away from the camellias. Zolf is poking at something in a pot and frowning. “Few more minutes. Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spins around and Cel immediately pulls him into a tight hug. “You, Mr. Smith, are too sweet.” They have to fight down happy tears, mostly unsuccessfully, as Zolf hugs them back just as tightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Mx. Sidebottom, I am most definitely not.” He ruffles their hair. There’s an angry hiss, and Zolf yelps as his pot starts to boil over again. Cel leans over and grabs it off the burner while also grabbing his chin and kissing him. He softens into it, brings his hands up to their face and wipes away a few stray tears. They can’t really convey just how much they appreciate him just then, but it’s a start. After a moment, their arm starts to tremble from the weight of the pot, and they have to set it down and step back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” Zolf says sheepishly. “I forgot to turn the burner down. Give me a few minutes and it’ll be ready, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>True to his word, a few minutes later, dinner’s done. It’s delicious, of course, because Zolf is genuinely a good cook, and his homemade pasta is always to die for. The moonshine is so strong it burns their nose just to sniff at it, but it’s heavenly. For the first time since that morning, Cel finally starts to relax and enjoy their day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I am gonna stop teaching.” They mumble before taking a large bite of pasta, taking the time for once to actually chew it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” He replies. And that’s it. He continues eating, like they didn’t just drop something huge on him. Something that’ll affect both of them financially, mentally, maybe even physically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, that’s it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zolf raises his eyebrows, then furrows them as he finishes chewing. “Cel, I hate that you haven’t been happy there. I know the college was your dream but.. Dreams change yeah? You’re allowed to fall back on an old dream. I said I support you no matter what, and I stand by that, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel cocks their head to the side and just stares at him for a moment, smiling a bit. He’s such a good, solid person, and they’ve been so lucky to have him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey. You good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m.. I’m good. Thanks Z, I.. you’re good. And a good person.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zolf blushes a bit. “I uh.. Look, you want some cake? I pulled a page outta your book here. Made a “food experiment” or whatever you call them.” He pulls the cover off the top to reveal a colorfully swirled cake. It’s a wonderfully beautiful cake, with multicolored checkering on the sides and a gradient spiral on top. It looks almost criminal to eat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my gosh, Z this is.. Wow. This is incredible!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, well, let’s taste it first. What flavors do you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Flavors?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He points at the different checkers, biting his lip. “There’s chocolate and peanut butter, strawberry and carrot, red velvet and mint chip, and vanilla and coffee. I uh.. I tried something new. Took that sushi dish you like so much and made a cake out of it. Well, with cake flavors, not fish flavors. But I’ve never tried it before, so if it’s turned out bad-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes Cel a moment to realize he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>embarrassed</span>
  </em>
  <span> or maybe nervous</span>
  <span>, and either way, they can’t believe it. They stand up, pause for a moment as they realize just how much moonshine they’ve had, and pull him out of his chair and into a hug. “You, Mr. Smith, are too damn good for your own good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You, Mx. Sidebottom, are a bit drunk.” Zolf teases. It’s just enough to break through the tension of both of their days, and Cel drags their chair over next to his while he slices into the cake. They eat some of the best cake Cel’s ever had and tease each other. And while they’ve always been comfortable around each other, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>has </span>
  </em>
  <span>been a little stiff lately, and somehow, someway, Zolf has broken that down. Cel feels like they’re on top of the world, and there’s a sparkle in his eye that tells them he feels the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that night, worn out, a little bit drunk, and full on an absolutely heavenly dinner and cake, Cel pulls Zolf into a searing kiss. It still doesn’t convey everything they want it to, but it’s good enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday.” He murmurs into the kiss. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Honestly, those flavor choices were a real crime. If someone, for some reason, chooses to try to make this, I'd be very interested to hear how it actually goes. I only partially followed baking laws while planning out how this *might* work and I'd love to see what pandemonium occurs. </p><p>Unfortunately, I yet again have to slow down. Short of another 174 happening and me getting the desire to write like five fics in two weeks, pain and my job have been really kicking my ass, and I've gotta slow the roll a bit. I will eventually get back to everything (CoTMA especially) though, I promise.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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